Step by step guide to land on a date with your crush

The hardest part about approaching someone you like is the anticipation of it, so let’s cut right to the chase.

Step one: The first thing you’re going to do, before anything else, is set a deadline for yourself. This gives you built-in time to approach him, start a conversation, and… lose your nerve.

Step Two: Have a Plan in Mind

Step two: Have a specific plan in mind before you approach him. Pick something you know he’s interested in—if he’s a fan of horror movies, ask him to the new blockbuster. If he’s a political wonk, ask him if he wants to watch the debates. The more specific the plan, the better.

Take out your WellCast journal, and open it to a brand new page. Write down the date you have to approach this person by and what you will say to him when you do. “I have to ask him by Friday if he wants to go to the new John Carpenter movie with me.”

If you want, you can try to hold yourself to this by adding a penalty. “I have to ask him by Friday or else I can’t go out this weekend.” You don’t want to be too hard on yourself, of course, but any added incentive helps.

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Step Three: Bite the Bullet and Do It

Step three: Here’s the hard part. You’re going to have to bite the bullet and do it now. Don’t do it on the phone or over text or gchat or by carrier pigeon. Do it in person.

All right, calm down. You will survive this. If you’re thinking right now “I don’t think I can handle this kind of rejection and what if he laughs at me and then the whole school knows and I’ll have to move to Canada”… then check out our video on automatic thoughts. (Link)

Approach him as confidently as you can. Pay attention to your body language—don’t slump or look embarrassed. Smile and keep eye contact the entire time. Call him by his name—it’s a proven fact that a person’s favorite word is his own name. Also keep in mind that a person’s reaction to being asked out, regardless of the response, is almost always unabashed flattery.

Use the plan that you wrote down in your WellCast journal. Take a deep breath, and ask.

Step Four: Graceful Rejection

Step four: Now, this all depends on what he says. If he says yes, congratulations. You should also open yourself up to the possibility of rejection. It’s possible he might say no. Take it gracefully. A “No” answer now isn’t necessarily even a rejection, it can just mean “not now.” Either way, be proud of the fact that you put yourself out there.

You’ll find that the worst part is the multitude of thoughts running through your head right up until you ask this person if they want to, maybe, go out sometime?

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Let’s recap. You’ve decided to take the plunge and see if someone you like wants to hang out. First, set yourself a deadline and decide where you want to go. Have a specific date in mind, one that’s tailored to his interests. When you do approach him, make sure to smile and make eye contact, take a deep breath… and just do it. Whatever he says, be calm and confident.

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